I’ve recently had to learn a somewhat hard but obvious lesson about boundaries and my own nature as an overly sensitive person. Namely, that just because I have the energy of the healer does not make it okay for people to come to me for healing nor does it mean that I am a fountain in which people can draw energy from. I feel that there is a reason why professional healers, therapists, etc exist: to help people heal within a certain boundary-space with certain physical/ monetary limitations in effect. To do so in a normal relationship is an abuse of an energy exchange. The thing is, most people who do this- and I’ve had my fair share- are not conscious that they are depleting or draining me. So, it’s also my fault in part for letting myself get drained, because I have poor boundaries and it’s too easy for me to give myself away.
It is a hard lesson because it is my nature to give myself and to want to create the space of healing. This is sort of something I subconsciously do all the time, and I find that it fulfills me if I feel the party involved is willing and I also learn something in the process. I have never encountered a person with some unhealed aspect that does not mirror my own. In a way, we are all incomplete and we find wholeness through each other. I find that each relationship I have- each friendship, conflict, intimate connection- helps to heal a wound of some kind. Sometimes it’s a hard lesson that teaches me my own blind spots when I judge reality. It’s all a lesson, in the end, in being able to be better in this earth-realm. To function optimally.
When I do feel drained, though, or there is some kind of uneven dynamic (be it an environment or a person) that depletes me, I need to seek out ways to ground and to give myself space. This is one of the lessons yoga gave me, to always seek that feeling of spaciousness. Even if I do not actively practice asana now, I do actively try to seek space in my day-to-day life. To feel myself grounded into the earth and my higher self connected to the heavens. This feeling of all-being is something I seek in the present, and I do get it when I draw or I’m in my room or in a place that makes me feel at peace. When I am in places where there is a lot of weird things happening, I feel inevitably drained. Learning to distinguish what places replenish and deplete me is also a lesson I’ve learned.
Things that help include: walks in places with many trees, lying on the floor of my room and just daydreaming, drawing, reading, doing yoga.
These aren’t necessarily complicated things, but they help me to distinguish the border between me and the outside world. They delineate the space of inner/outer, interior/exterior, something I often confuse when I take in other people’s feelings as if they are my own. I can ‘scan’ my energetic field at such times (even if this process if unconscious) in order to detach myself from what is draining and reattach to the source of life which always is always present within the universe.
It’s a very peaceful feeling, when I leave the place of being drained and enter the place of being replenished. And it continuously reminds me of how I am, where I am, is okay. It’s meant to be. It’s exactly what I need to bring me to the place I will be, to grow, heal, and to take part in this greater cycle which is life.