Being an Empath: a blessing or a curse?

I’ve been wondering about the ‘gift’ (ha!) of being an empath. Well, for me, it comes together with energetically sensing everything that is happening around me not only in my surrounds but also with people, particularly loved ones. It gets to the point that I get periods of darkness in which I suddenly feel like I’m thrown into a deep pit and I can’t find my way out. Such was I yesterday, then after I found out that my husband was feeling depressive that day because of some medication + his return to work and my other soul friend was having a rough week (information I was not privy to till later). And there I was, spiralling rapidly down, although I could still feel presences trying to send me messages. So I took out a deck I had never touched before and I got this card below.

“S’aimer n’est pas facile: solitudes et peines remontent du passé ou d’autres vies. mais si vous faites en sorte de ne pas vous focaliser sur les larmes, vous découvrirez que la joie est toujours présente.”

“To love is not easy: solitude and pains remain from the past or other lives. But if you make sure not to focus on the tears, you will discover that joy is always present.”

I think the loving presence I’ve been feeling was trying to remind me that even in the midst of my dark-pit-moments, I could still communicate with supportive, light energies; the channel was always open, so-to-speak. There is a certain transparency and flow I still retain when I’m absorbing the pains of others, a connection to the present and to the spirits and presences about me that lend me their light. But when the root of the pain/sadness is purely me, there is a depth to the pain that, upon diving in, seems to reach way deeper to unresolved issues. The veil between me and Spirit is so much denser it is as though I am caught in a moment of time I cannot escape from. The journey towards joy, away from the darkness, in this case, is one of revealing shadow to light in order to integrate past trauma rather than just tuning into my aura and trying to figure out what is me and not-me.

  I’ll give a couple more examples of how contagious this empathic trait can be. My older brother has a deep, overpowering dark energy about him. His aura is very imposing and almost violent when I feel it near mine. His is a dark, grey energy that contains an infinity of dimensions that I cannot access. There is a lot of depth hiding unresolved stuff, but that is also mixed in with a dark well of complexity that is foreign territory for me. When my brother visited, I was able to anchor myself firm enough with my husband’s help so as not to be able to be too affected by it. However, after he left, my husband and I spent the next two days in a deep depression. We cleared the space after, and that helped get rid of the grey residue. But, suffice to say, that kind of energy sticks. Another more mundane example was when my husband fell sick at a company dinner, and I felt nauseous at that exact same hour. That kind of thing.

The message I have been getting from Spirit prior to this is to maintain a sort of self-created spiritual ‘support system’ in order to deal with this unconscious absorbing of negative energy from those around me. It gave me the Hierophant two days in a row when I asked for that day’s messages. This was followed by the 2 of pentacles on the 3rd day when the darkness hit the hardest- a reminder to sort of try to chase joy and laughter in the midst of pain (echoing the other earlier reading I mentioned above).

  My friend J also offered another helpful tip: to remember to breathe. When the energy hits me, I try to remember to take five breaths. In, out, in, out. No cheating. Just a moment to tune into my breathing, to remind myself where I am at the present moment. From there, I can do an ‘energy scan’ of my own energy body to see what may be me and not-me. Usually, it’s pretty clear if someone is latching onto me or if I’m absorbing feelings that don’t feel like they are mine. If that’s so,  I have to ‘retune’ into my own energy and make a clear border between me and It. That sometimes works. Of course, asking your guides to help you do the work helps too, I think. Also, it’s important to follow up on this little exercise by doing something that truly makes you happy: reading, watching a favourite TV show, taking a walk or seeing friends etc. I think the follow-up actions help to cement the energetic work you did on yourself, so it doesn’t return. It also helps to enforce the border you created, paving the way for better energetic boundaries in the future.

  Today, I woke up and the bad, dark pit-of-me energy had mysteriously vanished.  It was such a relief! It made me realize how encompassing it can feel when you are absorbed by another’s feelings. For me, it really felt like that was my entire reality. I could see no borders around me and the ladder that led upwards towards light had vanished. I could see no way to climb my way upwards to the state I was before. I admit I had let myself fall deep inside this time and be engulfed by the entirety of negativity that washed over me. But I’m also glad, because it made me realize this tendency of mine to absorb others into me. It was also a kind reminder that Bad Feelings do have Endings. No pain is forever. However, by moving through it, I did discover something neat.

  I think that being an empath has many bright sides, too. You are able to feel a person completely. You can sense and feel the shape and story behind their emotions, as well as what got them there. Often, for me, I get clear images and information from empathetic messages too. Messages that often have some kind of concrete consequence. Being empathic also allows you to be able to reach out and support others readily and easily, because you can see in a snapshot what they are going through, so you know the nature of the help they need. All this is really wonderful and beautiful, but no one really teaches you how to deal with the ‘hangover’ side of it.

  So… what about you guys? How do you deal with being an empath? How do you mark energetic boundaries or practice good spiritual hygiene? Please do share your thoughts below. 🙂