A message from Spirit: Turning up for myself

stress Lately, I had been feeling a gentle pressure to take an epsom salt bath for some time. At the same time, one of my friends on FB posted about having gotten similar messages from Spirit (see right) to ‘chill out’. I was feeling rather PMS-ed: swollen, bloated and just feeling generally physically ill-at-ease. Of course, my default mode was to ‘ignore and get on with my day’ but Spirit said No. I decided to give Spirit a chance, drew the Tarot and I got the Star, which depicts the image of a woman dipping her foot into a pool of water. I assumed this meant that I should really take that bath so I succumbed to the pressure at long last, opened the tap and dipped a bunch of lavender salts into it. Just the feeling of being surrounded by water and being immersed and buoyant with a book in hand felt incredibly soothing. After my bath, I also felt the gentle pressure to do Lux’s meditation which I had ‘intended’ to do 2 weeks ago but never did. So… I stopped thinking and just did it. (On a side note, I got my period the next day, so the pressure to bathe now makes sense).

star  Having finished my meditation, I drew the Tarot again and got Temperance, which depicts a woman moving one cup of water into another, one foot rooted on land and the other in a pool of water. I thought this was really an amusing depiction ofmaj14 how I felt those simple acts of self-care had done for me. My friend also suggested that I was asked to drink water and I tuned into my body only to realize I was really thirsty!  At that moment, I felt the gentle presence on my left hand side as strong as ever. I had not felt it for some time because I’ve been focussing on physical realm stuffs (eating a lot to gain weight, which means bloating a lot) and all the ‘intuitive’ stuff was really too much for me to handle. Anyhow, the presence told me that all it wanted was for me to turn up for myself consistently. It wanted me to be accountable for the actions I took but also not be focussed on always “doing” so much. Just the simple act of turning up for myself when I felt physical discomfort, emotional turmoil or anxiety was enough.  So, simply turning up for myself was enough to quell the turbulence that was often my daily existence? Wow!

B- The Dreaming Pool  The meditative space is a familiar one for me. Slipping into it feels a bit like dipping my feet into familiar waters. It is not too difficult for me to turn my mind off because  the process of putting pen to paper does involve a kind of cultured discipline in which you are faced with a piece of paper and the movement of your hand quiets the mind.  In the beginning, your ego-voice screams at you a barrage of nonsensical spew and you learn to tune out of that, or ask ego-voice to go to a corner and stay there. After doing this regularly, however, your mind gets used to shutting up an turning off every time you give it that specific cue. Yoga accomplishes something similar for me in which the act of turning up on my mat automatically triggers a meditative state in which I am able to follow what my body feels like doing that day. The difficult part of all this, for me, is making the decision to return to this space in which I am just focussing on breath and being.  Lately, I have been feeling a bit more constricted, cluttered, as though my mind is at any moment always running from point A to B. Even though I’m not physically running (because I do hate any kind of physical activity that does not involve play), it does feel like I’m on an eternal hamster wheel which is exhausting. It’s ironic, then, that I know what to do to turn it off, and I often choose not to.

So, in line with this recent turn of events, I decided to start a meditational practice. I asked a few of my friends and here is a list of resources I’ve compiled. They are mostly casual visualization exercises that have helped me and some of my friends. 🙂 I intend to just do a bit for about 15 minutes a day (which can totally be 5 minutes 3 times a day). Something that I know I can do easily without much thought. Some of these meditations are stuff I ‘found’ accidentally during periods of crisis when I tuned into myself. Others are stuff I did as a kid, or things my friends shared with me.

  1. B- Birthing the self.jpgThe Ice Blue Egg (courtesy of Justine)

You visualize yourself comfortably inside of an egg that is ice blue. See if it needs cleaning. You can do this creatively- wiping it, vacuuming it, polishing it. Justine says she imagines opening a hatch at the bottom of the egg and a sucker fishes comes and sucker fishes it clean. Before closing the hatch, she imagines water coming out and cleansing her entire egg. Justine also mentioned there was an instant in which a real-life conflict manifested as a softball in her egg which ‘cracked’ it. She had to ask a guide to help catch the balls so as not to damage her egg, so you can get creative about how you ‘protect’ your egg, too.

Once your egg is clean, you can sit inside your egg and go to different places from there. You can imagine your energy going 10 feet deep and wide (a foot around yourself) into the ground and imagine that the ground is purifying your energy. You can also take your energy 10 feet into the air and imagine the air cleansing and replenishing you. The key thing to this meditation, Justine says, is that everything inside your egg is your personal responsibility but all the stuff outside your egg isn’t. So, it’s your job to take care of the inside of your egg everyday: to turn up for yourself, in other words.

B- Child of Eve.jpg2. The Tree

This one is pretty simple: you imagine that you are a tree with your energy reaching down into the earth. Your feet plants deep roots into the earth and you allow the energy to come up and flow through your entire body, with any excess energy flowing out of your head and hands naturally. It’s a good visualization to incorporate into the beginning of your yoga practice when in mountain pose, or even when you are waiting in the supermarket.

3.  The “Goggles” Meditation

This is the one that I do when I feel a trigger coming. I imagine that trigger is a layer over my reality, but it’s not me-essence. It’s just like a distorted goggles disturbing what I’m seeing which has put a haze over what I’m feeling and hence is impacting my emotions. Then, I sit with myself, and I tell me that what I am feeling is just blinkers or shades over my reality, and I am not what I am feeling. I feel it drifting away like petals. This one is pretty effective in momentarily disentangling from the emotional trigger just enough so you can find space within yourself.

4. Stick Meditation

This is a meditation I did when I was a teenager (I used to make rituals up spontaneously based on what I felt I needed at that moment). I take a stick of some kind that I like and I close my eyes and pour any negative energy from my body into the stick. I plant it into the soil in order to drain that energy into the earth. I do it whenever I feel drained and it does the trick. Having something physical, like a walking stick or ‘wand’ helps me to visualize the flow of energy better by giving it form and substance.

Other meditation tools:

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